In recent months I’ve found myself struggling to find the peace of mind for sleep because thoughts of you run rampant across my consciousness. It’s difficult to cope with you being so very far away. There are 1500 miles of plains, desert, grassland, and mountains separating me from you. I want nothing more than to hold you right now, to feel your warmth. I miss the feel of my hand in yours and those moments when you’d wrap your arms around me and pull me close. I remember it all so vividly: your taste, your smell, your smile, your touch. Instead of sleep my mind has you on replay and there is no stop button.
It took me awhile, but I’ve finally figured it out. I now know from whence those taunting whispers come. You ridicule my indecision and shove me toward a cornered space. You are that black light illuminating my every stain.
I watched the trades, burning soul for soul until the carapace crumbles to dust. I memorized the pattern, swirling anathema into the depths of ruin. I felt everything, suffocation beneath the weight of an invisible force.
It took me awhile, but I finally figured it out. My hell is you, and I want no more.
Written By: Hollie Barringer, 2015