My Guiding Light

When I was a little girl I had an experience that I will never forget for so long as I draw breath.

 My grandmother came to take me home for the weekend while my mother battled a nasty virus. Upon buckling me in my car seat she realized she needed to return inside, so she ran back in the house for no more than a minute or two. When next she walked out her truck was no longer parked on the driveway’s incline, and to her horror she realized that her infant granddaughter had been carried across a four-lane highway- into the far ditch. Though I was so young, I remember a presence so powerful and so strange. It sat next to me in the truck while the world outside slowly moved. I had no idea the danger I was in as the truck carried me across four lanes of notoriously dangerous traffic. In later years my grandmother told me that when she reached the vehicle she found me alone and talking- in baby babble, of course- to an empty space in front of me. It was odd it seemed to her and even startling when I could relate my own memory of that spiritual presence. I’ve often been asked why I believe in a higher power, and though it may seem too fantastical to be true, this is one of the reasons I have to justify my faith. It was the day an angel of God saved my life. 

This piece however is a relative story of then and now; enjoy

Written By: Hollie Barringer

In that moment I saw you with clarity, luminous in your shroud of sparkling gold with a thin banded ring and large billowing wings. 

A Godsend, you are. An angel from on high. My guiding light in disguise. 

You bespoke of His glory, His words and His story. The trinity spun as one. A tale I’d never forget as a song etched into my soul. 

But that was then, and this is now… 

My vision is spinning out of control in dizzying disfigurement. Contorted, distorted, and diminishing. Your aura faded and now you’re nothing more than he, she, or I- a simple human to my eyes. You walk with us, talk with us, but always keep insistence that my problem is resistance. 

Why hath thou forsaken me? When did you lose sight? Are those your words or are they mine? 

Here I scramble through the muck. Grime. Disgusting. Yuck. 

I’m Digging, fighting, clawing, and reaching for escape. This shadowed realm has swallowed me whole, but I know you’re there- warring for what’s left of me. 

Please, I beg you… Guiding light bring me home.


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