Motivation… It’s a lose, lose.
For me, I either experience having enough motivation to write incessantly, or focus on homework and studies; never are they balanced.
Then there are those rare occasions where I do not have the motivation for either, which is certainly worse. What to do, what to do…
A little something about me, for those that are interested… Some of you may have gathered that I love mystery- in books, movies, and also in life- and I wanted to share one phenomenon in this world that really captivates me. Simply put, I love abandoned zones.
I have had a few people question me when I express my interest for abandoned zones, and maybe it is a little odd, but I tend see beauty in things that are otherwise less than perfect. There is something intriguing about the unknown, and when you look upon a ruin- a place long since abandoned- there is an unspoken story that tantalizes me, a lingering presence I wish to know more about. What makes those places incredible to me is a combination of awe for nature’s ability to [adapt] shape itself in and around human obstruction as well as the immeasurable amount of wonder I feel looking upon a fragment of history- no matter its significance- left to decay. For some reason or another, there is cause to move on and leave the past behind, but why would we abandon that which we’ve invested so much time, effort and currency? The possibilities are endless. Perhaps resources ran dry or natural disaster forced the population to seek refuge elsewhere and after a long period the new establishment proved to be more valuable. It is possible that conflict was the driving force behind the abandonment of an old city; our worlds history of war and genocide across the centuries has detached families from each other, and whole populations from their roots.
Knowing why a place was abandoned is not always completely satisfying. My mind stirs with questions about the individuals who once resided there; every life has something to share, an experience unique to themselves, and I am bewitched by the prospect of what we could learn from that. The complexity of this existence is beyond me, but I am content with the knowledge that there will always be something more to contemplate, explore and grow from.
Maybe it is the writer in me, so utterly fascinated by stories unspoken for, or perhaps it’s simply that I am able connect to abandoned zones in a spiritual/metaphorical sense. In the way that we [humans] abandon places and things- leaving those echoes of the past to be swallowed by time- there are junctures when we also abandon pieces of ourselves and those remnants, despite having been lost or forgotten, become something beautiful behind closed doors. The doors we close may or may not ever be opened to us again, but whether its an individual returning to a closed door or another individual opening it for the first time, what was there before is not the same as it once was, because time, experience, and perspective are always re-shaping the boundaries of our scope.
Once again I find myself at that juncture where the path is insight and yet something unseen and unmoving also stands in my way; the invisible wall that we all run into, and have to work diligently to get around. No, this is not about writer’s block this time, it’s more of the opposite- believe it or not.
Between an implosion of exams and projects arising over the last three weeks, I have found myself surprisingly back in the swing of things when it comes to my writing which is somewhat of an issue because the timing conflicts with time spent studying. Even more surprising is that my usual influx of ideas, the ones that plague me while sitting under terrible florescent lighting in a giant lecture hall, are not accommodating to the long-term fantasy novel I have been piecing together for the last several years. Actually, ever since this writing contest began I have found myself wanting to wander outside of my general circle of interests. I’ve begun to develop ideas for a mystery thriller, my second favorite genre, and so far I really like the direction this one is going. It began with Prompt 2 from the writing contest and from there I changed a few things and twisted the concept to incorporate a more detailed plot with deeper character backgrounds.
Another trend I’ve recently begun when I sit down to write is more of a bad habit. I used to wish beyond desperate measure that I could draw because I love art, but I never considered myself any good and as a result I avoided art classes and never gave it much effort. Well, I certainly cannot make claim to fame, but I have developed an interest in doodling nonsensical little things as well as a few simple sketches of the environment (trees, flowers, and things of the like). I was actually so impressed with my little sketches that I tried to reproduce them in larger scale- believe it or not I can admit to some satisfaction with my work. Unfortunately, my new found ability is another time-consuming project that interferes with class time, but I suppose I got my wish?
Lastly, I want to share a bit about my newest (by newest, I do mean this began yesterday) interest… I decided that I needed some shorter reading material to get my by until I can expend a more lengthy amount of time on my favorite 10-book (2000 + page per book) fantasy series. So while Malazan Book of the Fallen sits on the back burner, I’ve been pursuing new and emerging authors whose works are not only affordable for your average college kid (that’s me), but also quite good and full of potential. I am really impressed, and hope these authors continue to strive higher and excel because they really have some great ideas that the world needs to hear.
So, at least I have something fun to work on while I am stuck behind the invisible wall; I just hope I get around it to pick up the pieces before finals arrive and grades teeter over the edge. Best wishes to everyone with whatever may be standing in your way right now!
Here is another list of words I have found through reading and writing that I wanted to share and expose to others because strong vocabulary can make or break a story sometimes.
Paltry- lacking importance or worth
Poignant- Profoundly moving; touching
Ingenuous- straight forward; frank; candid
Approbation- approval; commendation
Decry- to speak disparagingly of; to denounce as fault or worthless
Garrulous- talkative; excessive talking or rambling
Hackneyed- made commonplace; trite
Maelstrom- a violent whirlpool; restless disorder
Nadir- the point of greatest adversity or despair; lowest point; [In Astronomy]- a point on a celestial sphere directly below beneath a specific position or point of observation; opposite the zenith
All definitions were either derived from memory or recollected using http://www.dictionary.com. I hope some of these help kindle the motivation to write with greater interest for vocabulary. Incorporating words you have never used or seen before, in your writing, will help commit them to memory and can make you a stronger writer.
If you like what you see, check out my other Word Appreciation post in my blog archive.